Living in hell

I'm so tired of this shit! This has been the worst month of my life and it's probably going to get much worse before it's over.

My step-son is being an asshole. He's acting like he's the only one who's having a bad month. His problems? He dumped his girlfriend and his truck is running badly. BIG FUCKING DEAL!!! My mom DIED, the IRS took ALL of our money and will continue to do so, and one of my cats is so sick we're probably going to have to put him to sleep. How does that even BEGIN to compare???

Tonight he was in a rage because he couldn't get a seat cover on the seat in his truck. WTF??? He threw something when my back was turned. It made a huge crash and scared the crap out of me. I lost it and told him if he was going to do shit like that, go to his room. Don't do it around me. He got even more pissed off and left the house. He's been gone for over 7 hours now and he's so FUCKING inconsiderate that he doesn't even CARE that we're worried about him. I bet he doesn't come home at all tonight. He's probably out getting high and drunk.

I've had it with him!!! He makes me so miserable I can't stand it! He's 18 now. He's an adult. If he wants to keep doing this shit, he can fucking go do it somewhere else!

It's hard enough trying to control my emotions without his melodramatic bullshit and rage of a temper day in and day out. My emotions flare up to match his ALL the time and it's EXHAUSTING. I'm so pissed off right now!

My control over my feelings and impulses is hanging on by a thread. All I can think about is wanting to just take one risperdal m-tab after another. Let them dissolve in my mouth and then I'll just slip away. I don't want to wake up in this hell anymore.