Losing it completely

In the middle of January I remembered I was raped in June of 1997.

In the middle of February I lost my father in law. He passed away on 2-20-2009 at 5:45pm.

In the middle of February I remembered I was raped by more than 1 man. There were 2 and it was brutal and all done at knife point.

I need to go to the hospital because I'm not safe. I have tons of insulin here. I could overdose. I could slit my wrists. I could step in front of a moving car or bus.

I'm. not. safe.

But I can't go to the hospital. I have too much I need to do. Too many people depend on me. I'm coming apart at the seams. I can feel it.

I think I'm gonna go have a drink.