Saturday, February 28, 2009

Losing it completely

In the middle of January I remembered I was raped in June of 1997.

In the middle of February I lost my father in law. He passed away on 2-20-2009 at 5:45pm.

In the middle of February I remembered I was raped by more than 1 man. There were 2 and it was brutal and all done at knife point.

I need to go to the hospital because I'm not safe. I have tons of insulin here. I could overdose. I could slit my wrists. I could step in front of a moving car or bus.

I'm. not. safe.

But I can't go to the hospital. I have too much I need to do. Too many people depend on me. I'm coming apart at the seams. I can feel it.

I think I'm gonna go have a drink.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Go get help from your doctor right away. Say to him/her, I feel suicidal, or agitated, or crazy, whatever is easy for you to say and trust that that dr. will either refer you then and there to a psyciatrist or a dr. that can diagnose and prescribe medicine to you. You owe it to yourself and your family/friends to take care of yourself. If your husband can help you contact a dr. that would be wonderful, too.

greekwitch said...

I can not even imagine how you must feel but i am sure about one thing. You have to talk to someone close to you about it and to a therapist. Do n't let it swallow you. You can get out of this.
Bb**
greekwitch***

Anonymous said...

long time, no news
hope ur doing ok