I'm so tired of everything. I've spent over an hour now searching online for any information on how much is a fatal dose of the meds I have. I'm frustrated as all hell that I can't find any info that tells me anything!
I don't want it to not be enough. I want it done and over.
I'm feeling so very very impulsive right now. I'm sitting here looking at the bottles, all lined up in a neat, pretty row. Is it enough, I wonder? Am I brave enough this time?
I don't have to worry about my parents grieving for me. They're both dead now. The only one I have to worry about is Hubby. But as much as it will hurt him, it's like the surgeon's scalpel - it stings, even as it heals.
Best Radiator Heater
2 months ago
1 comment:
Why? Then what chance do l have of meeting you for the first time and giving you a hug? ....Oh. l have been absent have l not? l just came from a place not to many have seen. l'm well educated from the gross encounters l lived. Let me introduce you to some of my friends; REAL NAMES WITHHELD: BP-1, Karen: age 19yrs: Brown shoulder length hair. 5'-2" tall. Hobbies include music, beach combing, dancing. Karen jumped from a bridge in Vancouver, BC. She is now parallized from her kneck down. She is now trapped in her own body..........Keven: 37yrs: 6'-0" tall. Hobbies include wieght lifting, camping, fishing. Keven is a BP-1 that attempted suicide by drug overdose. Not enough of the wrong med had made keven into a vegtable. Angela slit her own throat that created lack of oxygen to her brain and now is sitting in a nursing home with nurses changing her diapers. l know allot more too. There is no feeling like the one when you just commited suiced and the reality of it hits you while the floor is turning red. You become cold as you become dizzy from the loss of blood. What curtain is fate choosing for you? 1-you wake up in a hospital alive and ok. 2-wake up in the hospital a veggy. 3-don't wake up. There is another form of suicide that is non'life threatning. Go to the hospital and see some of the ones that tried. Tell them the reasons they should live. Then take your own advice. You would'nt say anything negative to them would you?????.......Paul.
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