I'm back

Ok, it's been way too long since I've posted. I've been neglecting my poor blog. And, of course, anyone who reads this with any regularity.

So what's going on with me, you ask? Hmmm...

Well, I'm stuck at home because where I live got hit with about 3 inches of ice on Friday and I haven't actually been out of the house since Thursday evening. Yikes.

My stepson was driving me crazy with his "I gotta get out" cabin fever, and Hubby was stir-crazy as well. I'm not used to them being here all the time. My routine got broken and I got off kilter.

But they're both at work now, and I couldn't be happier. It's nice and quiet here. I probably won't venture out until tomorrow, though. That's when my CBT is. I don't want to miss any more therapy stuff. Missed too much because of holidays and weather.

I've been pretty frustrated with my individual therapist, though. I've only seen her once in the last 2 months. I'm scheduled to see her every week, but she keeps cancelling for stuff. She's there every week, except for the day I'm scheduled. I'm tempted to have her switch me to a different day so that I'll actually get in to see her one of these days. I see her so rarely, it's like I don't even have an individual therapist anymore.

I was finally going to see her last Friday after a month of not seeing her, but the ice that was supposed to not start until around 4pm started at about 10am. She called to tell me not to go out in the ice and said she'd see me Thursday. I got so frustrated. I know she was looking out for my well being, but I didn't care. I just needed to talk to her.

I think she sensed it, because she asked if I needed to talk on the phone. I really wanted to. Needed to. But unfortunately, Hubby and the stepson were in the room and even if I'd gone into the bedroom, they still would have heard. That won't work for me. I hesitated in my answer, finally saying no. She asked if I wanted to, but couldn't talk right then. I said yes. And that was the end of the call. She said she'd see me for sure on Thursday. I hope she's right.

Like I said, very frustrating.

I'll be doing my best to post more often. I didn't realize until last night how much I missed posting on this blog. It's the only place I can truly say anything. The only thing in my life that comes close to that is talking to my therapists. But I can't even tell them everything. Not the suicidal stuff. Otherwise they'd lock me up every other month. I can tell my friends on SF, but I fear driving them away. At least my therapists are paid to listen. They're not going anywhere if they want their money. :)