Door #1 or Door #2?

I feel defeated. I was told that my life will always be an uphill battle, that I'll probably always have suicidal thoughts, that what comes so easy to everyone else will be a lot harder for me, that even to get to that point will take several years of intense work and therapy. Why should I even bother?? So that it will get a little better? Am I supposed to just accept that my life will be a daily struggle until I die? I'm so ANGRY! I have been since yesterday when I was told all this.

Everyone has always told me that medicine and therapy will allow me to live a normal life. So far that hasn't been the case. So was yesterday the first time someone actually told me the truth?? I really wanted someone to convince me that it was possible for me to live a normal life. Not that it wasn't.

So now I have a choice. Do I choose Door #1 - a lifetime of daily struggle, or do I choose Door #2 - say enough is enough and end the struggle? Door #1 means a lifetime of suffering for me but does have rewards. Hubby and the rest of my family and friends, among others. Door #2 ends my suffering, but begins everyone else's.

Today I choose Door #1. Tomorrow I'll make the choice again.