My biggest critic

I'm still kicking around the idea of writing a book. I hunted around the web tonight for writing tips and found some pretty good ones. Maybe I'll take a creative writing class. I also dug around in my bedroom today and found all my old stories. I'm thinking I'll put them all in a binder so I can keep them together.

I think the only reason I haven't started writing it yet is I'm lacking in confidence. Funny, considering that I'm hypomanic, isn't it? Right now you'd think I'd be bursting with confidence, not afraid of much of anything. But I am. I'm afraid I'll fail, plain and simple. But really, who am I afraid of? It's not like I'm an author with a deadline that I'll lose my publisher if I don't produce results.

I guess I'm afraid of me. I've always been my biggest critic, not to mention the meanest. I'm so critical of myself that I avoid taking chances because of fear. Sounds ridiculous, now that I put it down in words. I need to take a chance. How will I ever know if I can succeed if I never try? Yes, I won't fail, but I won't succeed either.

Don't mind me. I'm rambling and feeling introspective tonight. Sometimes it helps to write it out. Then I can see errors in logic and common sense that seem otherwise perfectly normal in my head.