Un-special birthday

This was just about the worst birthday I think I've ever had.

The only gift given to me today was a boquet of roses by my stepson's girlfriend. I was very touched.

Yesterday my mom had me take her to the store where she bought my birthday present. Well, I picked it out, put it in the cart, brought it home, and brought it in the house. The only thing mom did was pay for it. So it really wasn't like a birthday present at all. I didn't even get it on my birthday. But maybe I'm just being unreasonable. She did get me a nice card, though.

No gift at all from hubby. Not even a card.

No birthday cake either.

I was hoping at least for a special dinner out somewhere. No such luck. At 8:30 I finally ended up going to a fast food place to get supper for everyone because I was so hungry my stomach hurt. To top it all off, it was cold and raining pretty hard on the way to get the food.

I was so miserable and crying so hard that I could barely see the road in front of me. Once I got there I called and left a message for my therapist. I was hurting so much and I wanted to hear her voice so bad, even though I knew she wouldn't be there. I don't even remember what I said in my message to her. I felt so alone.

When I saw those roses today, I wanted to cry because someone that wasn't even family had done more than anyone else to show they thought my birthday was special. No one else made me feel that way. Never before have I had a birthday where I didn't feel special. I didn't feel special at all today. It made me so sad.