Off-bubble

I think my psychiatrist may be close to admitting me to the hospital again. This time it'd be because I can't freakin sleep. That and I'm manic as hell. :)

I'm really not looking forward to that if it's what comes to pass. That would be 3 times in the last 3 months. My pattern has always been about once every 2 years. This is getting ridiculous. February, March, and now April?

I wonder if I could fight it? I wonder if it'd be a 'voluntary only because I agree' admission or a truly voluntary one that is only if I want it. I wonder if there's any more he can do for me outpatient?

I get the sense that he's nearing the end of his repertoire. I hope not. I don't want to go inpatient again. I guess on the bright side, the doc at the hospital would finally realize that I'm not schizophrenic. LOL

The last two visits, she diagnosed me as schizophrenic, chronic paranoid type. I tried to tell them that I'm not schizophrenic, I'm bipolar with psychotic features. But it didn't get changed. My therapist likes to say that if I get a hair off-bubble from the middle that that's when I get psychotic. She's right. But I'm not psychotic now. Just manic.

I feel like I want to keep typing, but nothing else is coming up in my head, so I'm going to end this post and see what other trouble I can get into for the night. ;)