Will I risk the loony bin?

I'm scared. Scared of my life actually ending, although I know that's the survival instinct. Scared of the end hurting. Scared that if I'm honest with my shrink on Wednesday that he'll have me hospitalized. I'm scared of being in that place. I've been there once before and it wasn't nice.

Do I really want to say anything that will risk my freedom? I could actually end up on 1 on 1 in there. And I thought I had no privacy before. Also, there's no therapy in that place. Only locked doors and watching eyes. What's to change my mind about everything while I'm in there? And if I don't change my mind, how long will they hold me?

I wouldn't be able to see my shrink, therapist, or doctor. The look on hubby's face when he visits me in that place makes me want to cry for doing that to him. It breaks my heart. Do I want to do that to him again?

If I get thrown in there, I've already decided I would want everyone to be told, including hubby, that it's to get my meds adjusted.